A little while ago I wrote a searing rant called “So you did a workshop with archetypes”.
I went pretty hard on the idea of people just suddenly deciding they are qualified to run workshops and rituals and so on without having ‘done their time.’
Well.. I wanna counter that piece with the other side of the coin.
All around me a new wave of young leaders are rising.
And they don’t give a fuck about the conventions of how things used to be done.
They will share things on social media that previous generations kept secret.
They will dive headfirst into things that seasoned teachers would shy away from.
They are wild, and dangerous and completely ‘unqualified’ because they are drawn to do it and trust that they’ll be initiated by the work.
AND WE NEED THEM.
I was pondering when I shifted from being a renegade to part of the status quo.
When I went from a revolutionary upstart to an old grandpa of the interwebs.
It happened gradually, just like inflation eating your savings or old age sapping your strength.
Sometimes I feel like a bitter old nerd.
Frustrated that now ‘everyone’ is into fantasy and sci fi but back in the 80s people used to get bullied for playing Dungeons and Dragons in the basement.
Except my protectiveness has been with actual magick and ritual.
“I’ve been into this for years and now everyone’s doing it.”
Y’know that story.
But here’s what I started asking myself..
Do I want the world to awaken?
Or do I just want to protect my status and position as one of the awakeners?
Am I really on the side of the witches?
Or am I acting out the role of the inquistion?
One of the other things I noticed about the positive reponses to my rant.
I had unconsciously justified peoples inaction and hiding.
I got a few messages like “I’ve been studying astrology and witchcraft for 20 years and I still don’t teach it!”
And I thought fuck.
Is THAT what I’m advocating here?
The world is LITERALLY burning.
And I’m suggesting people put in ‘ten years’ to learn the ropes before they get out there and start changing things?
(That’s not exactly what I said but it could be read that way)
Here’s what I know.
The GURU paradigm is dying.
The ‘put your 20 years in’ paradigm is dying.
The ‘things will be how they have always been’ paradigm is dying.
And it’s a good thing.. isn’t it?
But you see.. I’m 41.. I’ve had some successes and i can see..
I’ve become a ‘half-renegade-half-protecting-my-position’.
Part of me freaks out when Rhys Paisley Heart Satchell starts running death rituals and promoting them on social media.
Or Victoria Redbard starts taking self pleasure corporate.
Or Tyran Mowbray publically and earnestly talks about male inadequacy or erectile dysfunction.
Or i see Sigourney Belle Weldon’s work spreading SUPER fucking fast
Or Mia Mor actively standing up for sex workers and taking a stand against the system
Cos as much as I’ve been a public figure.. I DO keep some of my stuff private and invisible and that’s part of who i am.
But the fear?
Of being busted or exposed or losing everything I’ve built?
Well I’m taking a good look at that right now.
And I’m officially dropping any competition or fear of being eclipsed by those who are rising.
Cos i fucking support all these guys.
And all the others on the same wave that I dont even know.
I’m halfway between them AND the old guard of spiritual teachers and pioneers.
Halfway between OLD business and NEW business.
I’m half establishment half anarchist (never thought I’d admit that)
I’m a threat to authority but I’m starting to look like an authority.
I was young and hungry and street and now I’m planning my property portfolio.
I’m way more public than my spiritual teachers but way more private than these crazy new kids.
And that seems to be a part of my story.
Humble but arrogant.
Spiritual but material.
New school but old skool.
Half witch – half Spanish Inquisition.
(Millennials might need to google Monty python)
And.. the truth is.. i just started teaching LOTS of things overnight.
More than once people who’d been doing things in a certain area for YEARS raised their eyebrows because I’d suddenly decide “yep I’m teaching masculinity stuff now” or money or tantra or whatever.
They didn’t know what I’d been doing privately or thinking about for a decade or what i was potentially capable of.
I’m releasing those judgements i had.
Because they are sourced in my fears.
Of becoming old or obsolete.
Of not being special.
Of not being the ‘leader’.
And so on and so forth and..
I do have a huge and stubborn ego for sure.
But.. it’s not who I bow to or what I organise my life around.
I’m genuinely here to co-create something new on this planet.
And so if your out there doing your thing..
Fuck worrying about anyone’s permission.
You do you.
And for what its worth.. I support you.
?: Kathryn Rollins (who is also on that list!)