returned late last night from Menergy men’s gathering after a bunch of transformation, connection and consolidating the growth and learnings since last year.

this gathering really has been pivotal in my development as a man and this was evident to me throughout the weekend.

my main feeling is not to really share any SPECIFICS of the gathering because i feel theres a sort of sacredness around the experience that can be lost or spoilt when you talk about it in detail.

here are a few bits of my own personal learnings and musings though:

i got some beautiful feedback (both directly and indirectly) from men about how much i’d grown and how much more “in myself” i was.

i felt it during my workshop and during the mens circles i held as well as in my day to day interactions.

the most noticeable difference was the sense of not having to “prove” myself to other men.

somewhere in the last year of being broken and rebuilt over and over i’ve dropped something that i’ve carried my whole life.

there’s something very cool and unique about just being around men for 3 and a half days – especially in an environment that facilitates the dropping of the armour that men have learned to wear 24/7.

having 200+ reflections of yourself in the form of old, young, straight, gay, small, large and many other physical manifestations of “MAN” does something to your psyche.

it allows you to integrated parts of yourself quickly and deeply.

it softens the narrative of what your sposed to “do” in order to be a man and allows you to drop simply into the BEING of it.

there are many things i enjoy about being in this space of “men” here are a couple that spring to mind:

– the humour

fuck there were some funny moments this weekend. many announcement were made in the central dining hall each day.
on so many occasions if someone was waffling on or said something slightly odd someone would shout out a smart arse remark or bawdy comment.(sometimes that someone was me)
this was done in total love and with no sense of anyone wanting to bring anyone down. i love that humour and humanness!

– the directness

the magic of men calling each other on bullshit or inauthenticity is one of the most healing things that happens in this space. again i was touched by the gentleness and caring mixed with the directness that is a particularly masculine way of getting to the core of things. i saw it happen numerous times inside a circle and every time was grateful for the truth and authenticity it brought.

– the diving in

there’s very much a spirit of “lets just start then” i experienced this at numerous workshops and just in general in a way i dont experience it in a mixed space. a strong sense of “fuck talking about it – lets do the thing!”. i love this very much!

there’s so many other things that i saw this weekend that i’ll be integrating for weeks and weeks.

returing to the outside world evident to me that THIS particular lap of my integrated man journey is nearly done.

i have 7 days left in a challenge that i’ve been doing for around 150 days!

i will soon write the book The Integrated Man.

for any new men following me i run an online men’s circle here: Integrated Men’s Circle

it has around 600 men in it and astonishes me how safe, supportive, honest, real and no bullshit this virtual environment is:

please join us if you want to!